In extremely warm temperatures the Two Fat Submariners conquered the knee twisting, ankle crunching, nipple ripping Wroclaw marathon on September 12^th.

The Two Fat Submariners arrived on Friday in the beautiful city of Wroclaw to get acclimatised to the local surroundings and ensure that we had enough time to register for the marathon. Our apartments were located on the beautiful town square right next to one of the very impressive churches.  Settled in, we quickly headed out to enjoy the delights of Polish cuisine such a perogi, flaki, goulash and other delights. A couple of small beers eased our nerves and we headed off to sleep tired but ready and excited about the next day.

 Saturday morning came along very fast and we were in our taxi on our way out to the Olympic Stadium to meet our host Mr. Mieczslaw Szynkarnowski to register for the run and meet the organisers. Mieczslaw was a wonderful guy who completed our paper work, gave us our goody bags and set us on our way back out to the city.

As the sun blazed down upon on we indulged in a couple of ice creams and a small beer or two before a large pasta supper and an early night because tomorrow was the big day.

The big day came and we decided to meet a 7am to return to the Olympic Stadium (built by Hitler) to prepare for the race. When we arrived the place was already alive with people warming up – well over an hour before the start. We quickly found the stores to buy some carb bars and energy drinks and a nice fleecy jacket for after the run.  The weather was quite misty which we thought was brilliant however; those with the local knowledge knew that this meant it would be a hot day when the mist was eventually burned off by the sun

As the clocks clicked closer toward 9am we did a few photo shoots, dialled in our iPods and prepared for the next 42km of hell. As we joined the start in the area marked out for those who expect times of 4.46 – 6.00 we had further inspiration as we joined next to a fellow runner who was pushing his disabled son the entire course in a specially modified push chair. We thought our challenge was challenge enough but this chap really was doing a super human effort for his son and I hope that he raised a significant sum of money. Finally the countdown took place and the hooter hooted and we were on our way, well actually we didn’t move at all such was the mass of people moving forward, but soon enough we finally made it past the start line waving to our families as we did so.  Now I was even more scared than I was at the start.

The first few kilometres went ok, the event was really well organised with people cheering on every corner as we went passed and team Two Fat Submariners soon got into their stride. The first water stop seem to come very quickly and we took the advice of all those who had told us to make sure we made use of every water stop. I would think that it was around the 5km mark when we finally managed to engage in a half normal “chat” about the run instead of the “are you ok?” and grunts back to each other. With all our training we felt sure that a sub 5 hour time was possible and we were making the right pace to achieve that.

As we pushed on the mist lifted and the heat increased and when we reached the square in the centre of Wroclaw the sun was beginning to beam down upon us. Wroclaw central square is a beautiful place and really worth a visit, wonderful architecture, fabulous bars and first class dinning, it really is a vibrant and lively place 24 hours. It also has cobbled streets and this was something which proved difficult to run on. As we ran past the cafes and bar with people already seated enjoying coffee’s and beers while cheering the runners, it made us so proud to have chosen Wroclaw as that place where we would run for the NSPCC. (You can still donate at www.twofatsubmariners.com)

As the kilometres conquered increased to the late teens we began to feel it. Steve was sweating severely and any fluid he took on instantly came out and he was starting to ache all over. As for me, my famous left knee was starting to hurt but other than that I felt in good shape. Even so at the next water stop we would take on water plus pain killers and a small banana to keep us going.

We had slowed our pace considerably and when the kilometres reached 20 Steve was really starting to feel it. Both his nipples were bleeding quite severely – we fuelled up on carb gels and at one point even considered putting the cream on his nipples to give some kind of lubrication. However, the painkillers were working and although unsightly his nips weren’t hurting as much as perhaps they could have been so with fear of the stinging the carb gel could cause we omitted applying it to him and carried on with our marathon plan.

Now those regular followers of the Two Fat Submariners will know that Steve hates hills when he cycles, well add to this when he runs marathons too! At 25km we approached probably the only hill in the marathon – a huge fly over and with one dismissive look Steve tapped me on the arm and said please go on and break 5 hours for us, he was done. I insisted that we stuck together but Steve made it clear that I should go it alone and with a heavy heart I broke away and tried my best to get back on track for the 5 hours...

The twenty something’s were the hardest thing I have ever done on two legs... my left knee continued to be troublesome. Later, as I came down a small hill at 32km I was thrilled to see our support team cheering me along with gusto. As I jogged past, they gave me some water (which was fizzy) and I carried on. The knee got worse and worse and at 36km I decided to rest it and walk 3 km as I feared I might not finish the course. Slowing to a fast walk was the best I could do and as more and more people steadily steamed past me I was driven to pick up the pace again when a young damsel in bright pink leg warmers plodded past me, there was no way I could possibly finish behind her... the race was on.

When I arrived at 40 km’s, feeling good, with only the last 2 kms and something to go, it’s at this point I can tell you that everything hurts like never before. At the final water stop before the finish I could see people flat out on the grass having given up. I so wanted to drag them to their feet and bring them along. As it happens, this was short lived as I saw a huge tray of banana’s and quickly made for them and took some more water.

At 41km I could hear the speakers from the Olympic stadium welcoming runners home, I passed someone who had already finished proudly showing off his huge golden medal while cheering us along.  I picked up that pace and tried to run faster then something flew into my mouth and I felt a terrible pain in my cheek. I had been bloody stung by a wasp, so I spat it out and gathered every last Newton of energy to murder that wasp and squash his body into the dust. Enough said, I beat you, you little git and you were not going to ruin my day. TFS 1 Wasps 2 (Steve was stung twice on the cycle ride).

Then, there it was, the 42km sign. I felt the urge to steal it and bring it home with me but recognised that Polish police are somewhat less tolerant of such behaviour than our UK Bobbies and would never see the funny or dramatic side of committing such as act. Turning into the road to the stadium, it was into the cheering crowds and push forward to the final finish line. I heard my name over the speakers and the name Two Fat Submariners charity year, the crowd cheered as I crossed the line in tears... I had made it and completed my first but not my last marathon

As I walked through the tunnel I was handed my medal by an official who I felt was as enthusiastic to give me my medal as that of the winner, I felt great and am welling up now as I write this for you. Next came a bag of drinks and chocolate but no support team. 

Five minutes or so I heard my name and the support team all ran up to me, they had missed me crossing the line as they were stuck in traffic coming back. Wroclaw was a nightmare to travel around due to the marathon and it was just one of those things. They told me that Steve had kept going and was determined to make it. He had had his nipples re greased and was focussed to make it to the line

Some twenty or so minutes later I heard that Steve was in the final run and was making his way into the Olympic Stadium, blood stained, wrecked but alive and still running. I jumped the barriers and ran up the last few metres with my great friend to marvel in his achievement with him. He had truly amazed me and this was completely his determination to finish that carried him home. Almost crossing the line together was wonderful and in our plan, we made it. NSPCC should be proud of us (you can still donate at www.twofatsubmariners.com).

You see just before the finish line I turned back because I already had finished once and a man came running over saying, why didn’t you finish, why didn’t you finish to me.... we all laughed when I explained that I already had a medal and finish a little earlier

I quickly joined up with Steve and felt wonderful having completed our marathon. I felt absolutely exhausted, sick, and battered but I needed, so bad, a beer.  We retired to the family area and had something to eat and a beer and a well earned rest.

There were just over 3000 entrant to this year’s race and Barry finished 1907th in a time of 5 hours 15 minutes and Steve finished 1951st in a time of 5 hours 40 minutes.

The Two Fat Submariners would like to thank everyone involved in the Wroclaw Marathon and the people of Wroclaw for making our stay absolutely lovely. They made us very welcome and we recommend visiting the city or if you feel the need to do it, take part in the 29^th Wroclaw Marathon.

Following the marathon the Two Fat Submariners celebrated in a way only they know how with a team meal to thank their support team of Lauren, Tricia, Lenka, Laura, Abby, Myles and Jack. We could not have made it without you.

We would also like to thank our sponsors Virgin Wines, Airkix, Bremont Watches, Charm, Renault F1, Monster Energy Drinks, Lakeside Speedway, GRC Communications, Sittingbourne Speedway, MIJN, Tradesense, Simply ICT.

While this was going on Part III’s Myles and Laura Bishop were joined by Jack Mills to complete the junior marathon and they enjoyed a brilliant day. Myles continued his great form coming 170^th from 2000 entrants and further raising more money for his charity of the Christian Lewis Trust.